For a period in the 90s, every Goalkeeper wore a shirt which was hard to miss. Not becuase they were good - but because they were quite frankly baffling displays of shirt design. "I know, we'll add every colour ever invented and include a couple of shapes here and there and hey, presto! We've got another goalkeeper shirt! Next..." was more than likely the thought process behind the madness. They are the shirts you love to hate. The ones which you could never wear out and about, but could quite happily have tucked away somewhere, in a drawer and take a look at it once every other year.
We're going to take a look at a few shockers, and try to establish which concoction of drugs the manufacturers were on at the time of design. Brace yourselves...
Chelsea, Dmitri Kharine.
Poor chap, imagine having to wear this shit number, every Saturday. I'm not sure if it's the colour combo or the bizarre rainbow like designs that just look god awful - perhaps it's both. My colour blind, ageing Granny could tell that this doesn't really work - yet, the guys at Umbro Genuinely thought it was ok. Nope, it's shit.
Tim Flowers, Blackburn.
I'm not sure why Tim looks so happy in this, he looks like a plonker in our books. I'm sorry Asics, but if I saw a grown man wearing a shirt which featured more colours than a pack of skittles, I'd probably shield the nearest kids eyes and tell them 'Don't look at the funny man'. Having said that, if you were one on one on goal, look up and see Tim dressed like this - you'd probably fuck up the shot, just so you didn't have to go near him.
David Seaman, England.
In this photo, David's clearly just got a glimpse of himself on the Big screen at Wembley. "oh for christ sake, do I really look like that?!" Yes Dave, you do I'm afraid. You look like a lemon. I can imagine the day when the players have to model the new England kit for Euro 96 - Shearer, ince and Pearce in the respectable Home and Away kits and Dave in this crap. Who's this fucking traffic light? says Incey. Poor Dave, what did he ever do to deserve this?
David James, Liverpool.
It doesn't take a Rocket Science to work out that this is probably not a great look, surely? Oh, Adidas, I thought better of you, you bunch of dipsticks. I genuinely think that the head designer went home and asked his 4 year old daughter to draw a pretty picture, because if a fully grown adult came up with this one, I'd be a little worried.
Jorge Campos, Colombia.
One for the Purists this one - Jorge Campos of Colombia. More famous for being a shit kit advocate than actually be a decent keeper. To be honest, type his name into google and every, single kit he wears looks as bad as this, and it's by Umbro again. Granted, he wouldn't look out of place at a mid 90s rave with a whistle and a selection of pills - not the bloody world cup though. Every country in the world now thinks you a knob Jorge, sorry mate.
And that's it. Sorry for an offence that has been caused whilst looking at these photos - we promise they won't be talked about again, isn't that right Dave?